I Feel...

That tsunami of love that is grief, wrapping itself around my chest, like a vice, stealing my breath…suffocating 

I Feel...

The cascade of love that is rage, erupting from my heart, swelling up in my throat like a volcano...burning

I Feel...

The waves of love that are anguish, pouring from my eyes, till my heart is swimming in the salty storm...drowning

I Feel...

The whisper of love that is surrender, knowing that my will can change nothing...there is no waking from this truth...exhausted

I Feel...

The softness of love that is stillness enveloping me, the softness of a butterfly kiss on my cheek, and the sound of hummingbird wings as acceptance and peace fill my heart...with a love that is forever...

...I Feel. 

~Freyja Inanna

*written weeks following the loss of my son by suicide, five days before his 21st birthday during pandemic lockdown.